Relentless. That's what Love is. The Relentless pursuit of another- forever!
I would NEVER marry for money, convenience,status, out of desperation, old age panic, for the sake of having children, due to family pressure ( read mom and grandma! ) or even for companionship.I know,I know- I am African but The word is NEVER! I would rather die single. Strong words for a man living in the slum at 31 years of age you might say. Well- those are my convictions. And trust me- I live by my convictions. I would die for my convictions. Call it pride,arrogance or idiocy. I am that kind of idiot. Love is the only reason that would compel me to settle down-nothing else will do.
Love is not love anymore. It has been cheapened. We 'love' cereal and the cat and the car and jogging and food and the new iPhone. Preferences are now convictions of Love. Love has become anything that gives you an emotional high or that which you enjoy doing. That's how cheap the L word has become. My views on both issues -Love and Marriage are pretty old school. They are Biblical.
No, I would never sign a pre-nup, no I would never consider divorce unless infidelity was involved.
I refuse to help cheapen Love.
Love is greater than that.
Infinitely greater than that.
I did not walk into the arms of Christ after sober judgement and deliberation. I did not hear the gospel and become hysterical-crying and chanting unintelligible words and begging God to take me in. At first, I approached the kingdom out of fear. Hell didnt sound like fun for the 9 year old boy. I was plain scared and tired of pain and I also wanted all the shiny golden things in heaven- I was a slum kid- (umm, guess I still am!) I just wanted better. Fire Insurance and a golden pay out.
When I finally found out that God wasnt Santa Clause, I started kicking, cussing and clawing my way in the opposite direction. The thought of depriving myself of indulgent pleasures and suffering for an invisible God didn't sound like my cup of tea. So I fled.
I was pursued. Relentlessly. I didnt like it. I wanted to be left to my own devices. I was ambitious. Get out of the slum, make lots of money and try to enjoy every single day of the rest of my life indulging in anything and everything that would bring me pleasure. Christianity sounded like a monk-secluded from everything nice- and condemning everybody else's actions. I wanted no part of it. Plus, I had heard plenty about the Christian faith while growing up-I was ready for something different.
God however had other plans. He always does. I have given up trying to figure out the Being who talks planets into existence, forms little mud dolls and breathes into them to make them living humans. He who brags that heaven is His throne and that Earth is where He stretches His feet on as a footstool. I just don't know what plan or scheme of mine will ever sound intelligent to His ears. I heard He laughs at those kinds of attempts and ideas. Being so insecure, I am not volunteering to give Him a good bellyache.
Well, He got me. I made all kinds of excuses but they didn't work. He just wouldn't let up or take no for an answer. I gave this whole speech about being so messed up that I probably would be in Rehab forever. He nodded and said He already knew that. I quit praying and going to church so the guilt would go away. Packed the Bible and tried to think of any and every anti-Christian stuff I liked to do that would get me too dirty to love. I immersed myself into gangster rap and decided to become a secular MC. I thought it would be cool and bad and ... further away from everything I had ever learnt about God and the Bible. When that didn't work, I decided to chase a career. It lasted 3 years. I was lost and confused and lonely and disillusioned. Nothing satisfied, nothing motivated me. No peace, lots of inner turmoil.
Ahhh! I had hit rock bottom in my mid 20's. All this time- He was right there. Jesus. Calling out to me.
He was irresistible and I had run out of options. I had reached the end of my rope- He was offering me His life line. I had the stench of death on me- He said He resurrected corpses.
I wanted a compromise- half and half. He said, everything or nothing.
I asked for time to change and clean up- He said I couldn't do it and that I should just come as I am. I tried to prove Him wrong and fell flat on my face - a million times!
All this while He was there. Wooing me. Promising me incredible things and all the while I kept noticing how depraved I was. The prodigal was hungry and tired and lonesome and desperate. Exceedingly desperate. I asked Him, "Why Lord, why me?!
I am nothing, just a worm! You are God! Holy and Mighty, High and lifted up- what business would you have with scum and vermin like me?"
"It's love!" He said. " I love you so much I already died for you. Ransomed you. So we could be together forever! I am never leaving you- that's what Love does!"
I fell, I cried, I repented. I tried to say "But I ...." He shook His head and said He didn't care about the past.
That's when I understood what Love looked like.
That's why I could never cheat into a marriage. If and when I love again, I will expect Love to cost me everything. Our relationship SHOULD mirror the Love of Christ. That doesn't sound like a walk in the park. But Christ promises to walk with us.
If we keep our eyes on Him, It will be beautiful.
So now I am just preparing and waiting -gearing up for the long term- getting set for the relentless pursuit to begin!
I would NEVER marry for money, convenience,status, out of desperation, old age panic, for the sake of having children, due to family pressure ( read mom and grandma! ) or even for companionship.I know,I know- I am African but The word is NEVER! I would rather die single. Strong words for a man living in the slum at 31 years of age you might say. Well- those are my convictions. And trust me- I live by my convictions. I would die for my convictions. Call it pride,arrogance or idiocy. I am that kind of idiot. Love is the only reason that would compel me to settle down-nothing else will do.
Love is not love anymore. It has been cheapened. We 'love' cereal and the cat and the car and jogging and food and the new iPhone. Preferences are now convictions of Love. Love has become anything that gives you an emotional high or that which you enjoy doing. That's how cheap the L word has become. My views on both issues -Love and Marriage are pretty old school. They are Biblical.
No, I would never sign a pre-nup, no I would never consider divorce unless infidelity was involved.
I refuse to help cheapen Love.
Love is greater than that.
Infinitely greater than that.
I did not walk into the arms of Christ after sober judgement and deliberation. I did not hear the gospel and become hysterical-crying and chanting unintelligible words and begging God to take me in. At first, I approached the kingdom out of fear. Hell didnt sound like fun for the 9 year old boy. I was plain scared and tired of pain and I also wanted all the shiny golden things in heaven- I was a slum kid- (umm, guess I still am!) I just wanted better. Fire Insurance and a golden pay out.
When I finally found out that God wasnt Santa Clause, I started kicking, cussing and clawing my way in the opposite direction. The thought of depriving myself of indulgent pleasures and suffering for an invisible God didn't sound like my cup of tea. So I fled.
I was pursued. Relentlessly. I didnt like it. I wanted to be left to my own devices. I was ambitious. Get out of the slum, make lots of money and try to enjoy every single day of the rest of my life indulging in anything and everything that would bring me pleasure. Christianity sounded like a monk-secluded from everything nice- and condemning everybody else's actions. I wanted no part of it. Plus, I had heard plenty about the Christian faith while growing up-I was ready for something different.
God however had other plans. He always does. I have given up trying to figure out the Being who talks planets into existence, forms little mud dolls and breathes into them to make them living humans. He who brags that heaven is His throne and that Earth is where He stretches His feet on as a footstool. I just don't know what plan or scheme of mine will ever sound intelligent to His ears. I heard He laughs at those kinds of attempts and ideas. Being so insecure, I am not volunteering to give Him a good bellyache.
Well, He got me. I made all kinds of excuses but they didn't work. He just wouldn't let up or take no for an answer. I gave this whole speech about being so messed up that I probably would be in Rehab forever. He nodded and said He already knew that. I quit praying and going to church so the guilt would go away. Packed the Bible and tried to think of any and every anti-Christian stuff I liked to do that would get me too dirty to love. I immersed myself into gangster rap and decided to become a secular MC. I thought it would be cool and bad and ... further away from everything I had ever learnt about God and the Bible. When that didn't work, I decided to chase a career. It lasted 3 years. I was lost and confused and lonely and disillusioned. Nothing satisfied, nothing motivated me. No peace, lots of inner turmoil.
Ahhh! I had hit rock bottom in my mid 20's. All this time- He was right there. Jesus. Calling out to me.
He was irresistible and I had run out of options. I had reached the end of my rope- He was offering me His life line. I had the stench of death on me- He said He resurrected corpses.
I wanted a compromise- half and half. He said, everything or nothing.
I asked for time to change and clean up- He said I couldn't do it and that I should just come as I am. I tried to prove Him wrong and fell flat on my face - a million times!
All this while He was there. Wooing me. Promising me incredible things and all the while I kept noticing how depraved I was. The prodigal was hungry and tired and lonesome and desperate. Exceedingly desperate. I asked Him, "Why Lord, why me?!
I am nothing, just a worm! You are God! Holy and Mighty, High and lifted up- what business would you have with scum and vermin like me?"
"It's love!" He said. " I love you so much I already died for you. Ransomed you. So we could be together forever! I am never leaving you- that's what Love does!"
I fell, I cried, I repented. I tried to say "But I ...." He shook His head and said He didn't care about the past.
That's when I understood what Love looked like.
That's why I could never cheat into a marriage. If and when I love again, I will expect Love to cost me everything. Our relationship SHOULD mirror the Love of Christ. That doesn't sound like a walk in the park. But Christ promises to walk with us.
If we keep our eyes on Him, It will be beautiful.
So now I am just preparing and waiting -gearing up for the long term- getting set for the relentless pursuit to begin!
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